Twenty bucks to play golf ? Wow!! Annual Partee players were all winners. Thanks to Karen Behrens for being alert on golf price changes and to President Ed for being a tough negotiator. Tournament winners are already posted on our website, but we'll put it on the newsletter to make it official, also Jim Nibali updates the website every month with new winners and wipes out the old.

Teams and individuals that won some loot:

A-Flight 58 Scott Dahl / Mike Whitehill
B-Flight 56 Dee Thompson / Paul Thomforde
C-Flight 55 Karen Behrens / Paul Thomforde
Closest to the pin – Marc Neill
Closest to the pin – Ben Cartago
Closest to the pin – Bob Monsolillo
Closest to the pin – Chris Kuhar
Straightest drive – Sol Vaita
Longest drive women – Barbara Cogswell 280 yd
Longest drive men – Marcus Whitehill 220 yd
Side action – Scott Dahl / Mike Whitehill

Congratulations everybody, don't forget our next tournament is May 21st at the Francisco Grande resort in Casa Grande. Read President Ed's correspondence regarding accommodations at the resort. Note that this is our first official out of town tournament. Well, not that far out of town, but we are testing the waters. Our goal is to play the Annual Partee golf tournaments once a year every month nationally and globally. Also on the agenda, we will be celebrating Harley and Barbara Cogswell's 6th wedding anniversary, definitely a cause for dancing and jubilation.

May 21st – Francisco Grande Golf resort in Casa Grande. Sign up early and make reservations if you plan to stay Friday or Saturday or both.

19th Hole:

Special surprise when Bryan Thurston, the youngest player who played with the Annual Partee club back in 1997 and 1998 seasons at the age of 12 completed his boot camp training with the United States Marine Corp joined us at Apache Creek. Our best wishes Bryan and keep on keeping on.
Newlyweds John and Vanessa Vaita married the previous Saturday joined us at Apache Creek. She wasn't clear about the club's number one rule and he was eager to demonstrate seeing as how they rushed home after the tournament.
Paul Thomforde played his heart out and carried both his wife Karen and Dee Thompson to victory in winning the B and C flights. Per Paul, I feel used and abused.
Jerome Daniels was backstabbing his partner Korry Gantt. He said, “Korry's game doesn't compliment my game. He has no rhythm, no finesse, and his game has no artistic value.” Korry was on the other side also backstabbing his partner saying Jerome's game sucks.
Denny Andrew's buddy from South Dakota, Mike Whitehill who won a lot of loot asked Denny if he his winnings are considered income and is he supposed to claim it on his income tax.
Tim O'pry said the ladies (Sue Thew and Barb Fitzpatrick) were hitting the ball so good, he got a hard on. He was reminded to save it for after the tournament.

Welcome Mr. Postovit and family. The Postovits flew in from Seattle WA a week before to celebrate Mark's wedding (last Friday). Marc must have drilled the 7 or 8 family members who played with us about club etiquette and appropriate behaviour. These guys then drank a full bottle of Crown Royale and proclaimed they were ready. Well except Jason who rolled the golf cart and the cart landed on his dad. The good news is dad played better golf afterwards. Congratulations Mark and the Postovit family.

Don't forget to sign up early for our next tournament at Francisco Grande in Casa Grande. As always we will be playing at a great price. It's not far and it's a nice drive if you're going for the day to play and come back. A lot of the Top Dawgs will be staying at the resort Friday and Saturday night. A good number will also play a quick round Sunday morning before heading home.

Congratulations to Harley and Barbara Cogswell who will be celebrating their wedding anniversary at Francisco Grande. I know the Annual Partee celebrate everything, but this will be a special celebration. We are going to Partee!

Thank You and God Bless. Ed.

Letters to Sam Owen and Ms. Shorty Lisp

Sam Owen is back from vacation, but a lot of you wanted Ms. Shorty Lisp back to answer your questions. The newsletter cannot afford two experts to answer your questions, but this is bonus week, perhaps just this one time. Your questions will be addressed to Dear Sam and Ms. Lisp.

Dear Sam and Ms. Lisp,
Please tell us about yourselves and what makes you such experts in helping golf players with their problems.
Signed, Happy Golfer

Sam: Dear Happy,
I don't talk about myself but I can tell you about Ms. Lisp. She's five foot four inches tall and you can't tell if she's walking backwards. Her boobs are almost taller than she is and she throws the boobs over her shoulders so she can walk straight. She knows dildo about golf psychology and knows even less about strip teasing. But I guess you can say she's cute when she talks with a wisp.

Dear Sam and Ms. Lisp,
Outside of the Annual Partee's number one rule, how else is golf conducive to a successful marriage or relationship?
Signed, Juicy Lucy

Sam:
Dear Juicy,
Men play golf to punish themselves for not listening to their wives or loved ones. Watch them closely when they hit a bad shot. They will cuss and throw clubs and their body language tells you that they feel guilty about something. The guys that hit into the desert are the ones that didn't take the garbage out and the ones that hit in the water didn't do a load of wash or clean the dishes. In my professional opinion, golf is conducive to a successful union because it helps the guilty to cleanse the guilt feelings and to focus on the successful relationships.

Ms Lisp:
Dear Lucy,
Don't listen to that windbag Sam Owen. Golf is may be conducive to a healthy relationship because people have to have something to do or they hurt themselves and others. Kids have little leagues, gymnastics, and lots of activities to keep them busy and stay out of trouble. Golf does the same for adults, it keeps them busy and out of the bars and strip clubs.

Dear Sam and Ms Lisp,
Please keep up the good work. I listen closely and follow your advice. I feel that you two are sincere very knowledgeable about helping people like myself and others.
Signed, Grateful

Sam:
Dear Neil,
Please get a life you jerk.

Ms Lisp:
Dear Grateful,
Thank you for listening and your questions and opinions matter a great deal to me. I'm always available to help anytime.