Happy New Years Everybody! We're back and we're bigger and better than ever. And it ain't because Diamond Jack is our sponsor where our members are VIPs but because we have goals, we have a vision, and our members are the greatest.

Let's get ready to rumble in 2006. Our website will soon feature the outstanding schedule we are putting together for your golfing pleasure this year. We will be playing the best golf courses at the best prices. Also in July, the AnnualPartee Golf Club will play individual golf to determine who the best players are in our club. Yes, yes club members, you will be on your own, no partner, but your own physical and mental prowess see if you can win the A, B, or C flight all by your lonesome.

Annual ParTee: Rule Number One

The AnnualPartee Club's number one rule is written as thus: All club members must go home after every tournament and have wild sex with their loved one for four hours. Obey and tremble for failure to obey this rule will get you kicked out of the club.

The number one rule was created to promote golf and family values. To bring husbands, wives, boyfriend, girlfriend closer and not apart. President Ed was concerned about rumors and complaints that some of our members sneaked in only an hour or two of wild sex and not four as the rule stated. We will be keeping a close eye, well a close ear out for any complaints this year and You will be kicked out of the club.

Ladies Longest Drive

Kim Jones longest drive measured 290 yds. Nice!

The President will inform you by email as to where the March tournament's going to be. Three courses are competing for our business we will be playing the one with the best offer.

Results at The Legacy

Ray Patlen was asked if he and his partner Todd Doty wanted to be in the Side Action Bet. He said that he had some concerns because his partner Todd who was wearing a knee brace acts like a drama queen when he's hurt. Ray and Todd ended up winning the A-Flight with an excellent team score of 61.

Jerome Daniels golf lessons during tournament week which helped him big time. He shot a 91 which is definitely better that the 110 he normally shoots. Jerome said his back was hurt from carrying his partner Craig Matchstick all afternoon. Jerome and Craig scored a decent team score of 61 to win the B-Flight.

Bryan Schultz and Jim Nibali won the C-Flight with a score of 59. Nothing big or exciting to say because these guys are computer geeks who carry their laptops around to calculate distance and appropriate swing while maintaining the correct handicap to continue to dominate the C-Flight.

Thank You

Many Thanks to members of the Inner-Circle Ed Anderson, Sol Vaita, Ben Cartago, Jenny Tobin, Debbie Williams, Karen Behrens, Jim Nibali, Tim O'Pry, Harley Cogswell, Kwamie Lassiter, andNeil Herslow for helping to make this tournament special. We had over seventy players and everything ran smooth with your help. How about that Harley who comes in from Durango Friday Night to takes charge like he never left?

To our sponsor Diamond Jack, I would like to Thank You for stepping up to the plate and hit a home run to open our ninth year of playing AnnualPartee golf.

I want to Thank Danny Utu for the introduction between our clubs and for working behind the scenes to make sure this event became a success.

Also, many Thanks to Ray Munoz, Ray Seratto, and Ian for their VIP treatment of the Tackle Foundation, and our club members while at DJ's. The dinner provided by Red Bull and drinks provided by Hennessey at DJ's after the tournament were excellent.

We will always appreciate your contributions, your sponsorship, and your goodwill will not be forgotten.

Thank You and God Bless…….Ed

19th Hole

There were a total of 73 players that participated in the Legacy Tournament. Many were chomping at the bit to get the raffle and prizes out of the way so they can go to Diamond Jacks for dinner and entertainment.

This was our first ever afternoon tournament probably be our last. Many of our players needed a flash light to find their way back to the club house because it was too dark. Why did we play in the afternoon? We wanted to accommodate DJ's exotic dancers if they wanted to show.

Some of our ladies players seemed to be searching for the answer to the ultimate question “what is the meaning of life?” Debbie Williams was seen going back and forth in and out of the sand in one hole and Barbara Cogswell and Ramona Vaita touched sand in every hole at the Legacy. Ladies, you're supposed to wander in to the desert and touch that sand to meditate and look for answers, not sand traps at the Legacy. Must be a blonde thing.

Dee Thompson the Diva of the AnnualPartee Club shot an excellent game, score of 83. She was looking to hurt somebody for almost making her miss the tournament. Dee did enjoy playing with the lesser skilled golfers in her group, but as The Diva, she expects to play with royalty during the tournaments. Obviously I will have to pair her up with Neil, the Queen of Drama in the club.

Dear Sam,
Why do you say in the number one rule to have wild sex for four hours instead of making love for four hours? I totally agree that dinner, dance, and flowers is the total ambience in love making and it can take up to four hours. Please explain the difference.
Signed, Curious

Dear Lazybum,
It's implied that you already treat your partner lovingly, to take her out to dinner, dance, and make love and all the lovey dovey stuff. The number one rule recognizes the fact that in playing golf, you have taken five or more hours of valuable time away from your loved one. To make up for the lost time, the number one rule says to go home and have wild sex for four hours only, to make up for the time you spent apart from each other. We stress the importance of the four hour mark because if you still have an erection after four hours, please consult your physician.

Dear Sam,
I thought you're supposed to rush home and have wild sex for four hours. Yet, I see many of the veteran players loafing around the 19th hole and drinking long after prizes have been awarded and many have rushed home to obey the rule. What gives?
Signed, Rookie

Dear Rookie,
The rookies do rush home and sneak in and get it done and over with in four hours. The veteran players walk home and have wild sex all night.

Dear Sam,
Me and my husband both play in the tournaments. How does the number one rule apply to us?
Signed LadyHawke

Dear Karen,
As a couple you're not really spending time away from each other. But to promote golf and to bring couples closer together, the number one rule says: For couples that play in the tournaments. Each must have wild sex for two hours. That means when he's done his two hours, then you do get your turn for two. If you are single, we encourage you to find somebody for the purpose of practice. Being a veteran player takes practice, practice, practice…