As the summer heat is finally winding down, we had a perfect day for golf. We also had a great turn out – it was good to have the Weekly Partee Golf League members join us for their year end awards. We added an extra treat this month with lunch afterwards, which was a huge success. It not only gave everyone something to soak up the alcohol, it kept them from bothering the scoring table so they could get their work done.

Since one of our own missed the appointed tee time (too rough of a Friday night?), she joined the festivities by driving around harassing the golfers, offering better mojo to those in need, and taking pictures of all the groups and the 19th hole. Visit the APGC web site to view the photos.

Ray Patlen and his partner Todd Doty won the Side Action Bet, but couldn't pull it off to win the A-flight; they ended up in 5th place. It's just their luck that 1st and 2nd were paid out this month and not 5th place. I'm sure if they would have been more forthcoming in buying drinks afterwards, the scoring team might have been influenced (not just under the influence).

The A-Flight was won by Larry Reeves and Chris Hain with an excellent team score of 59. Second place went to Mike Changet and Dan Fouts with a 60. Matt Tarby and Blake Bruckner reeled in the bucks for 1st in the B-Flight with a 59. B-Flight second place went to Richard Brockoff and Joe Ciccaglione with a 60.

The real competition was in the C-Flight this month. We ended up with a tie for 1st place with a low score of 58 between Paul Bealer & Conrad Hofert and Marc Neil & Bob Turner.

Longest Drive

Paul Grant smacked the snot out of the ball on #2 to easily walk away with longest drive for men. Not to belittle Paul's efforts, but Dee Thompson, who won women's longest drive, ended up only 15 yards behind Paul's. Great job both of you!!

Other Results:

Closest to the Pin # 4 - Jim Carr, # 7 - Bob Mansolillo, # 11 - Jim Enia, # 15 - Bob Turner, # 17 - Paul Bealor

Longest Putt - # 9 Santhosh Srirambhatla

Annual ParTee: Rule Number One

The Annual ParTee Club's number one rule is written as thus: All club members must go home after every tournament and have wild sex with their loved one for four hours. The number one rule was created to promote golf and family values. To bring husbands, wives, boyfriend, girlfriend closer and not apart.

So, Dee, you should never have to ask what you're supposed to do after leaving the 19th hole.

Filler Item:

Folks, if your handicap is 30, please try to shoot in the 90's and not in the low 80's.

Also, if you're going to turn red and not get a proper tan, Please do not order a bright red colored AnnualParTee shirt, Paul.

I would like to Thank Debbie Williams for doing an excellent job of collecting the fees and the prize fund. Tim O'pry for the excellent job of organizing the score cards complete with player names and dotted handicaps. Web Master Jim Nibali, outstanding job on the Annual ParTee website. Jenny Tobin and Karen Behrens who expedite the scoring so that we can go home early to execute the club's number one rule. I'm taking advantage of this opportunity to “Thank” the Annual ParTee staff (while we have a newsletter) for the great job that they do to ensure the success of our tournaments every month. I almost forgot Ben and Denny for the value added stuff that they do do.

Speaking of the newsletter, we've found a new Contributing Editor who brings a fresh and versatile outlook that transcends the insatiable cravings to explore and capture that rare and unimaginable truth. As always, contributions will be made by Sam Owen and Shorty Lisp.

In closing, I want to congratulate President Bob Monsolillo and vice President Paul Bealor for a very successful Partee League this summer. Great Job! Thank You……..Ed.

More 19th Hole

Who is this Santhosh Srirambhatla guy that was winning most of the weekly Partee League prizes and won our longest putt contest? He is a new club member you all. He started playing golf for the first time in May of this year. There were early concerns that the young man was going to hurt himself that he was swinging so badly. But he is about ready to play consistently in the 80's and I predict that he will start shooting in the 70's by this time next year. Great Job Santhosh!

Mike Schmidt won a club shirt in the 50/50 drawing. Mike thinks he's got the perfect tan (NOT) to go with the red shirt.

Per Chris Cabat, I thought you said Kwamie and Korry were the best players in this league. Next time hook us (Chris and Dean Citko) up with the best.

Dear Sam,
Where the heck have you been and where's the newsletter. Our newsletter is becoming the gorilla of newsletters. Now we have it and now we don't. Get off your lazy butt and write. Signed, Ticked Off

Dear Ed,
I believe the word you're looking for is guerilla, not gorilla. I've been traveling and searching for the perfect words to deliver the perfect thoughts to the Annual ParTee, but alas, all I got was a blond kicking my butt in a fishing contest, then she forced me to name an island after her. But, I did discover an assistant to help deliver the word as we go forward into our 10th year in 2007.

Dear Sam,
The club needs to consider doing steroid testing. The men and women's long drive at the Legacy were too far and too long for regular folks. Signed, No-Roids

Dear Sam,
The long drive competition is not fair. I came out of my shoes and socks trying to hit a drive but I wasn't even close. Even poor Jenny had to go home sick cause she was trying to hit the ball so hard. What can we do to level the playing field. Signed,Fairsfair

Dear Dennis,
Jenny was sick and tired of you guys playing slow and hitting the ball into the desert. How are you going to compete in the long drive if you all keep hitting in to the rough. I'll be sure to raise the subject of “longest drive in the rough competition” in the next Inner Circle meeting.

Dear Sam,
I like coming in early to our tournaments and there's a beautiful and smiling young lady collecting our tournament fees instead of the nasty cigar smokers. Please, please Mr. President, keep Debbie and lose the cigar breaths. Signed, Change be Good

Dear Neil,
I received many letters requesting Debbie to do as you suggest. We'll ask and you'll have your answer by the next tournament. For now, concentrate on keeping you hands and eyes to yourself.