Speaking of hanging, Marc Postivit kicked big butt on Ed's putting green. Yup, the Postivit family cheered Marc onward to victory as he bitched-slapped Ed on his own game, in his Penthouse, and took his money the night before the tournament. Sol and Jim Nibali participated, but more as judges to keep the game flowing and fair.

Barbara Cogswell In-The-House slammed a 280 yard drive to win the ladies longest drive competition. Barbara and Harley Cogswell had moved to the country (Durango CO) where she picked up the pythons that slammed the ball a lonnnng ways. Per Barb, that's how we do it in the country. The other ladies bitched that Barb's drive wasn't that far, but it was lucky because it was on the fairway. I'm not sure, but the ladies are looking to extend their fairway to include the rough.

Harley was in town too and he was sporting a Grizzly Adams beard. What the heck, if the python don't wanna grow, then grow the beard.

19th Hole
New member Greg Powell had to team with John Lemke and Kip Deist. Ben lied, oops, I mean advised Greg that both John and Kip are excellent players and that to choose either is an honor due to their golf skills, etiquette, and professionalism. I forget who Greg chose, but who cares, they lost. Greg did win one of the closest to the pin contest, but hey, if Dennis Richards can win a closest to the pin, so can anybody.

The Postivits who were mud wrestling, crashing their golf carts, and rowdy as heck last year, but were very controlled this year. Why? The beautiful Postivit ladies were in-the-house and,,,we'll leave it at that.
Word got out that Hal Nurkka hit so many trees at Francisco Grande that it started global warming, well it started summer early.

Attention, Attention, this is a Very important announcement even though it's at the bottom of the page. The AnnualPartee elected a new president to lead our club into the next decade. Denny Andrew accepted the Presidency and vows to take us to where we've never been before. Ex-President Ed made a teary farewell speech, but we were drunk and a little busy watching basketball.

I whole heartedly support Denny in this new and exciting time of forward growth and movement. As I look back at what we've accomplished I am proud to see what great strides and leaps we've made in this organization and our community. I am amazed at the growth and strength we have shown as a cohesive unit in such times of turbulence and national strife. When our Phoenician brothers and sisters cried out for support and a helping hand, we came together and showed our worth by providing each and every one of them with the potential to capitalize on our humble outlet of hazardous stresses. Our previous endeavors have truly been wondrous, and now, as we look to the future, we can rest assured that our organization will be lead with the ideal strength, vigor, and fortitude necessary to achieve monumental successes. Thank you and God bless.

- Ed Anderson

Letters to Sam Owen:

Dear Sam,
I am really saddened by Ed's stepping down from the presidency, and now I wonder, what will he be doing now that he is no longer the president? - Signed: Very Sad Club Member

Dear Andy,
You were too drunk to listen when we announced that Ed will continue to do everything that he is doing now, and Denny will continue to do the same things he has been doing; as soon as we figure out what those things are. The only difference now, is that we will be calling Denny “President”.

Dear Sam,
We're sick and tired of our newsletter being late. I hope the new president kicks your butt to get in gear and be on time. – Signed: Ticked

Dear Ed,
Sorry. Denny is scary and we're scared.

Dear Marc,
Yes, the club's rules and bylaws are written in stone and must be obeyed regardless of who is president and running the show. Yes, you must rush home after golf and have wild sex with your wife for a minimum of four hours. Reminder club members, the rule says “wild sex” for four hours, NOT “make love” for four hours. There is a difference.

Dear Sam,
Why are you calling Debbie Triple-D and Tim Triple-T? I'm curious because I was also hearing it at the club house at Francisco Grande. - Signed: Curious

Dear Curious,
“Dirty Debbie Dominatrix” kept threatening “Talking Trash Timmy” about kicking his butt into submission with her dirty shoes. I'm certain that this is just kinky code talking between Triple-D and TTT as they've been partners since the club started eleven years ago.

Dear Sam,
Have you had a chance to go see Stan Shaw yet and if so how is he doing. - Stan's Buddy

Dear Phil,
I'm planning to see Stan this coming week and I'm bringing him a couple of dancers from Diamond Jack to cheer him up. DJ is one of our sponsors and we want Stan to get the VIP treatment. If somebody has a better suggestion than VIP treatment, then please let me know.

Dear Sam,
The food was excellent on Friday night at President Ed's penthouse at Francisco Grande. We need to have more of those tournaments. I didn't know the club members can cook. - Signed: Keep on Cooking

Dear Eats,
I am agreeing with you. Sandy Christie, the Postivits, Leona Anderson, Tish Nibali, Barbara Cogswell, the Vaitas, and others put together the best potluck. None better. Denny has some big shoes to fill as President.