Other winners: Longest drive ladies was 297 yards by Dee Thompson, and Blake Buckner drove the green 339 yards to win the men's longest drive. Blake was informed that the local pros Cam Olsen and Keith Wilson are shoo in's to win longest drive brought out the “big dog” and layed the 'smack down' on the local heros. Per Cam, “It's on, and we're bringing it next time.” Per Blake, “It's already brought.”

Hal Nurkka and Bob Kohl quietly won the side action bet. No muss, no fuss, give us our winnings, go away.

We were going to post the closest to the pin winners, but the AnnualPartee staff lost the closest to the pin documents. President Deny was upset and threatened to fire and replace his whole staff if this was to re-occur. Per The President, “post the near hole-in-one by Paul Cerda.” Ok, here goes: Paul Cerda almost had a hole in one as his ball stopped 2 inches from the pin. Great Job Paul.

19th Hole:
President Deny did not play in the Tapatio tournament due to back problems. Neil Herslow appointed himself as President for the day and applied himself to presidential related duties. The little furball actually appeared presidential, according to some of the club members who can see their toes. But, President Deny showed up with Senator Don Miller on the 14th hole and ended Neil's claim to power and fame, well definitely screwed up the rest of his game.
Matt Powell and Mike Changet played an excellent game and had an opportunity to win, but they haven't figured out the ham-n-egg process yet. We may have to hook them up to play with Tripp and Joe who are the ham-n-egg masters.
How about the Tad Loopies domination at Tapatio Cliffs. The Loopies were flexing their pythons, one eye brow up, and giving everybody the make my day look. Then they went to Uncle Charlie's (Sports Bar) owned by club member Marc Neil on 53rd Ave and Bell and talked more stuff. Poor Ben was saying some about fixing his pool and the Loopies were all ready to kick his butt in pool (Uncle Charlies has 8 pool tables). There you have it folks. Uncle's Grand opening is this Saturday August 4th at 3 PM and the Tad Loopies have challenged us to a pool tournament.

Letters to Sam Owen:
Sam Owen, one of our members with the proper credentials stepped up to the task to read, analyze, and formulate a professional response to your emails. Names will be withheld to protect the privacy of our members.

Dear Sam,
Please remind the AnnualPartee players to not urinate on the saguaro cactuses. Last time we had complaints from the course and also tell Jim Nibali and Bryan Schultz to stop racing running their golf cart into the trees at Gold Canyon. Signed, Concerned.

Dear Concern,
Your letter says it all. Club members, please put your watering devices away and do not whip it out and point it at anything in the desert. Jim and Bryan, keep your balls (golf balls) in the fairway, that way you won't run into any trees.

Dear Breeze
Your complaint is noted, but not easy to enforce. We just found out that some of our members are executing the club's number one rule of “having wild sex with your loved one for four hours” before they play golf. President Deny encourages the club members to have wild sex with the one they love on the day of our tournaments, but it didn't dawn on him that the members are doing it before and after. We'll have to revisit this issue and publish the results in the next newsletter, but for you late comers, please and pretty please come in early.

Dear Sam,
I would like to see our tournaments set up so that we can have lunch afterwards. Other tournaments I've been to have served lunch - nothing big, just hamburger, hotdog, and chips. Lunch at every tournament might be too much, but how about lunch at the last tournament of the year. Signed: Where's the beef

Dear Beef,
We get a lot of email suggesting lunch or banquet after the last tournament. But, President Denny stands firm on not charging club members anything other than the green fees and the ten dollar prize fund.

Dear Sam,
Do you know if there are any hotel / motels near Uncle Charlie's? I don't want to have to drive home after celebrating Uncle Charlie's Grand Opening. Any help you could provide here would be appreciated. Signed, Safe Person

Dear Safe,
Quality Inn is a block and half away. Cost is 69 for king bed, 75 twin beds, and 109 bucks for suite. Call: 602-896-8900. See you all there.